Wednesday, June 17, 2015

DOUBTING........

On the morning we were comIng into Burgos...not a pretty walk.... An arduous walk through an industrial area which did nothing for the spirit
.....a walk that seemed to go on for eternity and during which my blistered toes were crying to be released from my boots..... My spirits sank...my head and body took over and true questioning began.

On this day, a Sunday mid morning, as we neared a coffee shop to sit for a short while I felt the tears well in my eyes for the first time on my Camino and I questioned ....
" Why was I walking this path....what was Supposed to be learned? Why was it not yet clear to me the life purpose I had felt I would so clearly see?  Why did my feet hurt so terribly and where was the sense of joy and freedom I had experienced each and every day before this one?  Was it time to stop and recognize that perhaps my head had tricked me into taking this walk and it had nothing to do with my soul knowledge at All? "

As I sat, blistered toes exposed to the air....sat unceremoniously on a concrete bench outside a small dank cafe on the outskirts of industrial Burgos .....
A most beautiful elderly Spanish woman, dressed immaculately in a light pink suit, stopped in front of me. Her hair was coiffed to perfection and pearls  around her neck shone in the sun.  Her smile was so intensely warm I felt I had known her always.  In Spanish, much of which I did not understand in terms of words,but All of which I understood in terms of spirit energy, she told me I would be alright.  She asked if I was walking from Saint Jean Pied d Port and when I told her " Yes, we are...we are walking the entire Camino Frances" , she began to tell me her tale....her camino many years before.

Through words, emotions, and hand gestures she told me how she had walked to Santiago , very ill. Her motions led me to understand she had a tumor somewhere in her abdomen area, but that she had walked this path in faith that upon reaching St. James tomb in Santiago she would be healed.  Her words, warm, full of faith ....unquestionable trust in why and where she was headed....spoke directly to my heart.  And here she was, sharing with me her story of faith and healing...all these years later.  She was healthy, remarkably beautiful and standing before me to encourage me to go on and to know that I would  be fine; that I was walking this Camino as I supposed to and to not question. As she turned to leave she looked directly in my eyes, hugged me warmly and said " Buen Camino".

 In those brief moments, my Spanish angel in her pink Sunday suit brought me back to my soul's knowledge that all would be well. I was exactly where I was supposed to be and her presence at that moment in time was proof.
Not once after that encounter did I ever question my walk.  Not once after that encounter do I recall my feet ever feeling so tender and sore that I might stop.

Now, as I reflect on that amazing day, I am forever grateful the gift of this angel's words were brought to me at just the moment I needed them most.
My belief in my soul's knowledge and learning to trust ...follow in faith ....knowing I am exactly where I am meant to be in this life is strong and intact.
We may not always see clearly the reasons events happen as they do... We do, however,have  the gift , the choice,  to trust that there is a greater energy at play.
My Spanish angel's faith reminded me to hold fast to my own.

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