DECISIONS........

“The sea is my grounding….my connection to earth and soul” -A Camino of the Soul

It is in the walking on the ever evolving beach with the sun burrowing into the depths of  my back...warmth penetrating to the very core of me... that my restless spirit finds solace.  Warm waters,sea waves washing over my toes as I pad along, bring a calm and oneness with the Universe.

It always happens this way.  Times when my spirit, chaotic, spun in upheaval, loses its way. My mind blurred I fall prey to the possible pitfalls of ‘head-talk’ choices I am contemplating.  What if this...what if that?  Ego...head talk...steps in and crushes my newfound heart commitment to move forward and follow my soul’s calling.

And so I come to the sea, and the answers flow.  The answers are always available… the Universe speaks constantly.  It is my choice to listen...or not.  My choice to decide the next moves I will take, the places I will, or will not.

I have the choice to change my beliefs at any moment-- those moments the head -talk begins to strangle the soul knowledge.  I trust that in allowing the experience of feeling  the negatives, letting them pass through just as a ticker tape along the bottom of the television screen on the nightly news, the negative thoughts will fall away, replaced by those truths I know to be real...those truths of my heart...my soul..

And then….the tape rolls again…. And I must  release again.   It is in these times of conflict, a soul in torment, that I come to the sea. Perhaps not even remembering  that I will be healed, almost instantaneously.  The sea has that power….I have that connection.

Often I have thought, actually I believe, that this draw to the sea was born in me. My mother walked the beaches of Alki Point in Seattle, Washington when she was carrying me….several months of morning strolls along this windy beach of Puget Sound.   It is my home...it is my soul’s birthplace.  A child cradled in her mother’s womb --the sea, the rocking of her stroll -  comfort.  

And so it is here as I walk the white sands of Hilton Head,South Carolina on this April weekend, breezes softly blowing, pelicans in flight.  The sea brings peace...brings me home.

18 months ago I completed my Camino de Santiago.  The walk itself was the journey of a lifetime. The lessons, the whispers of the Universe, during that pilgrimage have led me here….right to this place in my life.  Nothing in my life is out of order.  

Writing, and knowing that another walk is in my future, are a given. The decision to follow my calling and walk is what has drawn me to this moment in time.

The troubled question has been: how can I go venturing on another pilgrimage when finances are tight? Should I not stay home, go back to work, rebuild my bank account?  Isn’t that the practical thing to do? Isn’t that the responsible approach?   

Of course it is!  My head -talk has guided me to reach out to past colleagues all the while knowing, deep in my soul, that the walking and the writing are my calling. The walking and the writing will provide.

I believed this at the end of my Camino...why do I question it now?  Why the troubled soul? Perhaps because I have been home.  Home with family and friends, back in an environment which calls for stability and responsibility. Head-talk is hard to battle in normal life.

My book is written. I followed the call to write -A Camino of the Soul: Learning to Listen When the Universe Whispers is published.  And,there is another book in me...and another... beyond the next walk.  I  am a teacher - a sharer of places and sights others do not get to experience in this lifetime. I have a call to be the eyes and ears.  It has been my passion these last few years living overseas….to share what I see, feel and learn with family and friends.  I have been blessed.  And, in the writing of my book, I know I have touched spirits and hearts. I know because they have told me so.  And there is more….I am not done.    

And so….decisions. Do I follow my soul knowledge? Or,do I follow the safety of my head- talk?  Oh, I know...you are reading this and saying “ Really Kate? There is a question?. You KNOW the answer”.   

Perhaps…..but somehow the chaotic war in my soul, that war between heart and head, has continued.  Somehow, what my soul knows to be true, and what my head-talk yells out..screams in my ears in the early morning hours meant for sleep... still collide.

Until now.  Here, again at the sea, walking the shores...feeling the energy of the sun burn into my being and take hold…...waves pulling me in. Sun warmth cradling my soul and bringing me back to my truth,

I am to walk and write.  That is all there is.  The rest will take care of itself.  The finances will come. Stability may never come….I can accept that.  Stable has never really been my strong suit!  My life story has churned with changes... that I bring about.  My path has been far from

predictable.

And again now, here at this place,.I am at peace and can move forward.   Decision made.

Camino Portuguese here I come and all else will fall into order..in this I trust.

Remember to listen, Kate….Listen to the whispers of the Universe.  The answers are here….the answers are at the seashore.

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